Aurora: April 2007

"tantas cosas que quiero olvidar"

a few days ago when I was a feverish idiot and taking a bus to volunteer at the high school even though I was pretty sure I had a fever-I saw a girl through the window of the bus as it was stopped at a red light.

She was leaning out of her second story window onto both of her elbows-her chin propped between her hands--She was looking wistfully off somewhere that I couldn't see and could only imagine

and for just a moment she and I made eye contact, and we both smiled-as if acknowledging that maybe in some other place or time we would, could, or had been friends.

but maybe I was just feverish.

things have definitely been happening folks-lots of things-lots to say. (do i always say this?)

It started raining today-which supposedly means it is going to keep raining for like three months straight. Welcome to Winter.
-----
In my spanish class for extranjeros last week-Profesor Salazar showed this to the class:

Coco Cola

Don't you love it?? the little hands!!!and you can learn some spanish words! Ok-but you know it makes you want to see this(dedicated to Webb Lyons):

We didn't start the fire -Billy Joel

________________

So, weekend before last-there was a beer fest in Concepcion. and I know I told you there was a set criteria list for festivals---but Obviously Beer Fests and any type of German festival have blatantly different criteria:

-large hunks (in a continuum of color shades and sizes) of sausage lookin meat
-large paper hats with Kuntsmann on the front of them
-beer on tap at every table
-lots of chilean girls in german folk dress and chilean boys in that lederhosen
-chocolate cake (not a perfect substitute for cotton candy-but like the movie says: "that'll do pig")
-a random array of odd german contests on stage including eight or so rounds of beer chugging contests (male and female separated of course), sawing competition, nailing competition, and cueca (typical chilean dance) competition
-large inflatable beer mascots

what more can you ask of a german festival? A lot-seriously--like some ventilation-a thick blanket of smoke was just chilling right above our heads the whole time-yuck-

Check out the fun pics--and my hat: (click on picture to go to the album)

el festival de cervezas

____________

Then I got sick. It started with a little sneezing on Monday, but my monday night as I lay in my bed studying for my first exam, I could feel myself getting rapidly worse--

Tuesday--the sneezing continued--and I realized that I wasn't going to be able to take salsa lessons this semester ( I know---sad, right!) because my rotary meetings got moved up to 8 (the salsa class is from 6:30-8 on Tuesdays and Thursdays) and my masters class which starts this week is on Thursday from 5-7--but luckily Rebecca was totally willing to take my place. So, I called my eager partner to let him know I would be switching with her-
he didn't answer-
So-I left a message telling him I would meet him and her at the casa de deportes at 5:30 to introduce them- then I turned my phone off and went to class-

and when I turned my phone on a few hours later-it almost Exploded from the number of missed calls I had from him-It was like 3pm. So, I called him back-and he was like. . .
Where are you?
waiting in the international students office to talk to the secretary
ok, I'll be there in a minute.
uhhhh. . . well, I'm waiting to talk to her, right outside her office-she's going
to call me in any second
oh that's alright-I'll be right there.
(click)

Let me take this opportunity to remind you about Jorge. I met him when he came Running after me in the casa de deportes to ask me to be his partner-he then proceeded to call me the next day and try to ask me out but I was too confused and blew him off-since then he has called me and least ten time to try to ask me out-each time I politely but firmly refuse and tell him I would see him when we began dancing. Jorge is a few inches shorter than me and a rather confident but unattractive fellow (You'll understand more after you read the rest). You know the type.

so--I'm dumbfounded, but Jorge comes striding into the office as I'm waiting-and he's like:
so, what happened?
(I nicely explain to him my scheduling conflicts and apologize, telling him Rebecca is really nice and he will definitely like her)
but you will be my partner next semester right? because I really wanted You to be my partner, he asks.
and I'm like, well, I'm not sure, it's just depends on my schedule I guess.

and he's like--

well, when are we going to go get a beer?
and I'm like, well, I don't know. I'm pretty busy.

and I rattle off all the things I'm doing when I really just want to scream [can't you get a hint!!]

and he's like,
well-honey-you got have fun sometime.

yada, yada, the conversation goes on like this for a while-when I get called into the office-I'm hoping he will be gone when I get out but he's not.

I start walking toward my building and he walks with me and says something skeezy without looking me in the eyes like, wow, pink is such a flattering color on you -you look so lovely today--
which i sorta awkwardly respond-uh thanks but not really-I mean if you like red noses, sniff, sniff, cough.

so, I finally shoulder him off and tell him I'll see him in an hour and a half-

5:30-I arrive at the casa de deportes, praying to see Rebecca-but of course she's running late and Jorge is there early.

and he starts right in again and is like-so do you have a boyfriend in the states? and i STUPIDLY am like, no-

and of he's like, wow really? why not?

and I"m like, well don't really want one to be honest-I'm sorta enjoying being single and independent right now.

he's like-what about a chilean boyfriend? don't you wan't a chilean boyfriend?

"not really" I say, "I'm sorta enjoying being single and independent right now."

and he's like [Prepare Yourself]

Well--I want to be your chilean boyfriend.

mouth drops-start to cough-laugh:

No thank you-I think is what i said.

but he's persistent: no really, he says, I want to be your chilean boyfriend.

gross-and I'm trying to be nice, so I'm like, you can be my chilean friend??

and he's like "amigo con ventajas?" which is, you guessed it, friend with benefits-

and I wanted to say bleep no, but I just said definitely not. Ha-Ha (except like haha that's not really funny or attractive, just creepy)

so then he's like,

I'm looking for a foreign girlfriend--

and I just start calling rebecca like a mad fool until she picks up.

and then we're just sorta standing around, awkwardly obviously, and I straight up tell him:

You know, you chilean guys sure are aggressive.

he seems surprised. "Aggressive?" he says. "Me?" he asks?

and I'm like "Duh" no. . . really I was like "Uh. yeah. I don't know of any guy in the states on his second time to speak with a foreign girl, would say-hey you want a boyfriend from the US? cuz I'm looking for a foreign girlfriend, and I would love to be your american boyfriend."

he just sorta looked at be with his beady little eyes, and then he said that being aggressive was better than the alternative, and I almost said:

Well obviously it's not working that well for you.

but i didn't.

and as soon as we see Rebecca coming, and he's like--well, as soon as your ready for a chilean boyfriend-You just let me know-I'll be waiting. and I almost broke out into a run.

men.

[sidebar-my spanish professor asked me to give a presentation to a group of visiting students from Holland (all extremely attractive) about my experiences in Chile as a foreigner, and since I don't hold much back, I was telling the Jorge story--and some guy was yelled out what about a dutch boyfriend? and I just kinda blushed and shrugged.]
_______________

Tuesday night I proceeded to get sicker and sicker but I somehow managed to study. I dredged my way through the exam on Wednesday morning with my fever, and then like a goober, I headed out to the Colegio San Pedro to volunteer because I had promised one of the teachers that I was going to help him with a lesson on informal english.
I even wrote up a fun little skit for the 11th graders to act out that would demonstrate some "informal" english. It went a little something like this (don't laugh-I've highlighted what I consider might be slang):

kid a: Dude, what's up?
kid b: not much, having a rough day
kid a: why? you look like somebody just ran over your dog
kid b: no. I'm just bummed
kid a: what's wrong?
kid b: I just saw some punk macin' on my girlfriend.
kid a: how do you know he was macin'? (I'm not really sure how "macin'" is spelled, so forgive me.)
kid b: Oh, he was totally putting the moves on her-if you catch my drift.
kid a: and was she into him?
kid b: I don't know. she looked like she might be buyin' it.
kid a: well, don't sweat it man. she's cool, and I'm sure they're just friends.
kid b: you're probably right. Thanks
kid a: no worries-anytime. You know I'm always here for you. that's what friends are for, right?
______
not bad for a super cheesy, off the top of my head slang skit, huh?

The teachers took one look at me and said you look horrible [you know how people always say that to you when you already feel like death, like hearing that you actually look as bad as you feel is going to make anything better, right?]
and told me to go home.

which I did-straight to bed. This began the 48 hour marathon of raging fever, not leaving the bed, coughing til I cried, going through 24 individual packages of Kleenex, having a little old chilean lady hover over me constantly bringing me herbal tea every hour on the hour (I kinda like it now by the way) and asking me to put on one more pair of socks (not nearly as nice as when grams asks me that), not sleeping, still eating (I have to be Really sick for that to stop), and all around sick-yuckiness. The worst part was that my home-sickness hit pretty bad-you know how you never really realize how important your family is to you until you're vulnerable and can't move--I just needed my mom and some chicken noodle soup (why don't they have campbell's in this country?)

anyways, I left with the boys on friday morning to go to Pucon even though I wasn't all better (I'm still not) because I told Akshai if I had stayed in that house alone with Ana Maria all weekend, there would have been one less little old overbearing chilean woman in the country by the time I got back.

(I mean SERIOUSLY Ana Maria, NO I do not want you to check out my stool for me to make sure everything looks alright. NO!)

So, I jumped in Kazu's car and we headed for Pucon. Kazu is our Japanese friend who is here learning Spanish for his business and owns his own car (Bonus!).

His company also pays for gas, so he wouldn't let us pitch in. (super bonus)

He does love his latin music though, especially shakira. As soon as we got in the car we were almost knocked over by this song:

and although I feel down right evil for writing this in my blog, I know he wouldn't mind. I almost couldn't breathe from laughing because we listened to this song at least ten times on the way there and Kazu just kept singing along at the top of his lungs--the lyrics "baile en la calle, de la noche, baile en la calle" except his version sounded like: baire en ra caire de ra noche-baire en ra caire. I was totally having American Idol "She Bangs" flashbacks. [Kazu you know I love you]

We arrived in the afternoon, in time to check in and do some site seeing. Check out my pics by clicking on this photo:

Pucon

Remember to click on "slideshow" to get the best view of the pics. I tried to take some pictures out of the car window at night because I thought they looked cool. As you can tell sometimes I take pictures as if I were trying to be a real photographer instead of the randomly and over-enthusiastically snapping tourist that I am.

and we had a pretty rocking time just drivin around the country side and checking out waterfalls and other fun places. After dinner, we set out to find the natural springs, which turned out to be quite an adventure. We finally found them, but we first had to rent towels, walk down about one hundred earthen steps-change in little huts-and run our half-naked selves from the little huts to the springs which were like big hot tubs in the ground outside. I was the only girl and of course felt a little awkward but it was a dark so I felt better. I knocked over some lady's water bottle cuz I have big hips and I'm clumsy and it was dark-and she started yelling at me and I was just like "lo siento, lo siento. Soy muy torpe. . . " (I'm sorry, I'm sorry-I'm really clumsy" and her husband was finally like " give her a break-I mean look at the poor girl, she's clumsy."

it was a pretty cool experience UNTIL

we had to change back into our dry clothes with sticky wet skin and walk back up the one hundred earthen stairs-I (GOOBER) was heaving because I still had a CHEST COLD and could barely breathe-and almost had a coughing fit when we reached the top and I sat down to try and catch my breath.

Meanwhile, Akshai is like, "come on. we can sit in the car."

thanks, buddy.

On saturday, while the rest of our group was hiking up a freakin volcano (I'm going to go back and do it another time) Kazu, Felipe, and I went horseback riding, ate several times (including a large beautiful "American Breakfast" at the hostel), and went to a couple of beaches. We also went to a chocolate factory-where I bought like eight things, including this great little candy they have here which is called cuchufli. It's a cylindrical chocolate shell that is filled with manjar, which is like caramelized milk, and is pronounced man-har, but Akshai and the other boys like to call it Man-jar-don't ask me why-
anyways, they are to DIE for. Let's just say I bought ten of them on Saturday. It's Wednesday, and I have Zero left.

we drove back Saturday evening, with Akshai complaining something about how he had climbed that volcano like a Spartan or something--
and we had Sunday to rest and catch up on some well needed work time.
_______________

Everyone is heading to Santiago this week. Keane is actually playing in concert there, and I am dying, Dying to go, but I have a take home test that I will get on Friday that is due on Tuesday, and I have to give my formal twenty-minute presentation to the Rotary Tuesday night, so I think I'm going to stay around here and do work (I know, I know-seize the day--but I'm also recuperating right?).

I promise I will do a much better job of updating regularly now that I'm back in good health. The rains, and with them winter, have arrived, and I am beginning to settle into a calming routine.

Although, I must say I am a bit envious of the beautiful spring skies and blooming flowers I know are arriving where you are.

If you find yourself on a bus or in a car or walking on a sidewalk sometime soon and happen to make eye contact with a wistful soul, give them a smile, take a moment to think about how your life may or could be intricately connected with their's, and think of me--

I miss you all and hope you and yours are happy and safe--

una aurora and all my love,
Mere

There's No Forgetting (Sonata)
If you should ask me where I've been all this time
I have to say 'Things happen.'
I have to dwell on stones darkening the earth,
on the river ruined in its own duration:
I know nothing save things the birds have lost,
the sea I left behind, or my sister crying.
Why this abundance of places? Why does day lock
with day? Why the dark night swilling round
in our mouths? And why the dead?

Should you ask me where I come from, I must talk,
with broken things,
with fairly painful utensils,
with great beasts turned to dust as often as not
and my afflicted heart.

These are not memories that have passed each other
nor the yellowing pigeon asleep in our forgetting;
these are tearful faces
and fingers down our throats
and whatever among leaves falls to the ground:
the dark of a day gone by
grown fat on our grieving blood.

Here are violets, and here swallows,
all things we love and which inform
sweet messages seriatim
through which time passes and sweetness passes.

We don't get far, though, beyond these teeth:
Why waste time gnawing the husk of silence?
I know not what to answer:
there are so many dead,
and so many dikes the red sun breached,
and so many heads battering hulls
and so many hands that have closed over kisses
and so many things that I want to forget.

No Hay Olvido (Sonata)
Si me preguntais en donde he estado
debo decir 'Sucede'.
Debo de hablar del suelo que oscurecen las piedras,
del rio que durando se destruye:
no se sino las cosas que los pajaros pierden,
el mar dejado atras, o mi hermana llorando.
Por que tantas regiones, por que un dia
se junta con un dia? Por que una negra noche
se acumula en la boca? Por que muertos?

Si me preguntais de donde vengo, tengo que conversar con
cosas rotas,
con utensilios demasiado amargos,
con grandes bestias a menudo podridas
y con mi acongojado corazon.

No son recuerdos los que se han cruzado
ni es la paloma amarillenta que duerme en el olvido,
sino caras con lagrimas,
dedos en la garganta,
y lo que se desploma de las hojas:
la oscuridad de un dia transcurrido,
de un dia alimentado con nuestra triste sangre.

He aqui violetas, golondrinas,
todo cuanto nos gusta y aparece
en las dulces tarjetas de larga cola
por donde se pasean el tiempo y la dulzura.

Pero no penetremos mas alla de esos dientes,
no mordamos las cascaras que el silencio acumula,
porque no se que contestar:
hay tantos muertos,
y tantos malecones que el sol rojo partia
y tantas cabezas que golpean los buques,
y tantas manos que han encerrado besos,
y tantas cosas que quiero olvidar.

Aurora

Sunday, April 22, 2007

Coming Soon:

Monday, April 9, 2007

so many things I want to forget

Wednesday, April 4, 2007

fever

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