I did what?

in Just-
spring when the world is mud-
luscious the little
lame balloonman

whistles far and wee

and eddieandbill come
running from marbles and
piracies and it's
spring

when the world is puddle-wonderful (E.E.Cummings)

and then I'm back. I know I have been remiss about writing in the blog. But my life was sorta turned on its head-and I've been breathing slowly trying to grasp on to things for a while. I was just reading over my last post at the end of January and sorta caught my breath for a moment considering what I was thinking then and where I am now, five months later. I was building on sand. It's crazy how you think the things in your life are so set-that sometimes I have forgotten that I am always in control of my life, and that at any moment I can change the things that I don't like about my life. so. . . i did. To summarize and gloss over the details:

I went back to Chile. I settled in and prepared to stay. . . and then things sorta exploded. . . and all of the sudden after a month-in a matter of days, I made a decision, with the support and input of family and friends, and I was on a plane to San Francisco. Just like in any place, there were good times and bad times in Chile. I loved living with Kristin for the short time I was there and was definitely most sad to leave her.

The year was good but difficult.
Regardless of the context, now I'm here, and I feel safe and happy. With Viet at my side
Summer is here. but it makes me miss bama summers because the average temperature is like 60 degrees here.

but life is new.

new job. new place. new friends.
things are good.

so here's the news:

I work at the Food Bank here in the city. I'm learning a lot about non-profits, food banks, and this city. I'm lucky to work for an organization with an amazing staff. Everyone I work with is great, and I am finally beginning to settle into a routine which is nice.

As you can imagine there have also been major adjustments in the personal life. Viet's roomies each moved out for different reasons right around the time I was becoming more and more frustrated with the extremely high prices for one bedrooms in the city. After some serious thought, we decided it made the most sense for me to live with Viet. So here I am. We have been in the process of moving things around and redecorating, which has been fun. (I'll post pictures of the place as soon as everything is finished.

I've also had a great time getting to know Viet's family, his cousins in particular. There's Phong and Alice (Lucky for us Phong is an amazing photographer and always has his camera handy):


(They are getting married at the end of July)

Binh and Diem:



Vu and Tracy (although I don't have a picture of them :() They live down in the LA area and graciously allowed us to stay with them when we went to Disneyland. Did I tell you we went to Disneyland??? It was fun.

Anyways, I've spent the day cleaning up the apartment. Viet's been gone all weekend at Phong's Bachelor Party in Vegas.

Oh. here are some recent pictures from when we were hanging out with Viet's cousins in golden gate park. I didn't even realize Phong was taking most of these pictures:


It was really cold at the park. This picture was taken as we were leaving. It had been sunny all weekend, but it was freezing that day.so. . . we made capes


We were playing cards during the concert.


hand holding :)how sweet. . . also could be a jean ad.


Viet doesn't like to get his picture taking, show again here.


on the bus, happy.

We also went with them to golden gate fields, the horse track:



I think I look a lot like mom in this picture.


here we are walking back to the car.



and a hug. yes, that's me behind him :)

oh wait i lied. Here's a picture from our LA trip: that's Vu and Tracy on the right and Long, Viet's brother on the left:



here's us:



viet did not want to have his picture taken. i made him.

Here's a pretty shot of the city:

and of the sky:


here's nanci pelosi (speaker of the house)! she came to give a press conference at the Food Bank my first week working there. and that's my boss, Paul, the executive director.



here's kara and viet one night before we were going to eat spaghetti:



and me and Jessica (also works at the art gallery where Kara works)

All in all, life here is great and everything I imagined it to be. i miss the bama. we have a guest room, so all are welcome to visit whenever.

Viet just got home, so I've got to run.

More news to come.

Hope you and yours are happy and safe,

una aurora,
Meredith

Standing on Sand

"Nothing is built on stone; all is built on sand, but we must build as if the sand were stone." Jorges Luis Borges

I'm back in Alabama. And as you can imagine, life is a confusing whirlwind as I attempt to reattach patches of memories, of places and moments that help to remind me who i was once here, the girl whose footsteps I can only pretend to follow again. Derrida once talked about the eyes being the only organ that never aged. The only parts of you that are exactly the same when you are older as they were when you were five. --And so it seems fitting that I am connected now to these shadows of my past through the images I see. Gas stations with new names, empty strip malls, and back roads that lead to different places--I am back in Alabama.

Culture shock or re-shock I guess is majorly affecting me. I feel as though I truly do have two selves-the chilean me and the US me. And they seem so distant these selves, as if they barely know eachother. They dress differently, eat differently, and speak differently. They love differently. Who am I now? A person in-between worlds??? I can't readjust fully when I know I'm returning in two weeks--not that I even think I want to readjust fully.

As you can imagine, here--part of me longs to be there--just as part of me longed to be here when I was there.

There are things yet to be done in Chile. Things to be finished--to be experienced. Times to be lived.

I know I should be updating about all that I have been doing here while I've been home, and I will. I plan to post a plethora of embarrassing family and cross-country adventures photos, but for now, I'm just reflecting.

Living in the in-between, I see myself more clearly. The parts of me I wish were one whole person, the ways a place brings out different strengths. . . and leaves me wishing. . . I was a bit more whole sometimes.

But then again. . . Aren't we always in the making?? As much as we are in the present-we are always in motion.

And as a new friend recently told me, "There are few things in life that can't be reversed."

No matter where I go, maybe it should comfort me to know that my eyes never change.-Ageless reminders of the me that is unchangeable.

So, as I question every thing, time, and one around me. . . I remind myself that I am just standing on sand--

standing on sand and trying to build as if the sand were stone.

una aurora,
Mere